The other day I went to the plant nursery to buy my first plants of this year, and on the way back home, I caught myself wondering how on Earth have I managed to handle all that social exposure? At the risk of revealing a big part of me that I don't really talk about, I have social phobia. I am better than I was before, that's for sure. But I used to not even say "good morning" or felt very unconfortable after being "forced" to do so by morals, so that I didn't pass off as rude. I'd be afraid to ask the waiter for more food and I always had to ask either my parents or siblings to do it for me. I never knew why I was afraid of doing it. I just...was. I used to hate going out shopping because I felt everyone was looking at me, the freak, I felt I was. I'd arrive emotionally exhausted at home and I came directly here, to my little confortable world. The fact that I was physically and psycologically bullied all my childhood didn't help either. I think it made a huge impact on my life. This made me afraid and insecure. Sure, you think "but you don't have to feel like that, just focus on positivity". But you see, there was no positivity in my life,  at least not untill I met my Stardoll friends in real life. But to this day, I still think of my past. Not because I want to, but because It comes to mind from time to time. Anyway, the day I met my friends I felt like I was born. But soon after, I still felt that I still had a bit of fear. And that's where plants come in. Since I started seriously collecting them about two years ago, whenever I went to the plant nurseries, I'd feel so happy and relaxed that all my fear went away. 

 I remember not being afraid to talk to the employees about what plants I was looking for or how to care for them or just chat about plants. This made me realize how much I felt at home. There were not young people there. There never are. All people of my age care about is what clothing is on-trend or worrying about their university uniform (It's a Portugueses tradition of coming of age to have your parents buy you a uniform with a black cape where your friends buy you patches for you to stitch onto the cape and it becomes a sort of a cape of memories) so they can attend praxe (Praxe is a sort of univerisity tradition where older students closer to graduating can convince newbies into doing weird stunts). Anyway, I never attended those events, as we're free to do so, and in MY opinion that's terribly childish and cruel.  I've never felt safe or confortable  around the kind of people who say things like, "Stop giving everyone boring classes" whenever I say fun facts about plants or history. 

As the years went by, plants and hanging with my best friend felix.giro have changed me, for the better and have been part of the few things keeping me happy. When I'm at a plant nursery I don't fear, I lose track of time, my problems stay at the entrance of the nursery and I feel peace among my beloved plants. I love having something to care for, I love to cherish plants. They are so beautiful and give us so much, like oxygen -- not a big deal at all!! They literally give us life. And what do we give them in return? Oh yes, deforestation, pollution, and uninterested people who are perhaps more concerned with their #firstworldproblems. So I take care of plants in the best way possible because I think all of my plants deserve all the love I can offer. I think everyone should have a plant. The acti of taking care of them  itself is so conforting, and if they thrive, it gives us confidence, like they have given me. When they flower or sprout new leaves, we have this amazing sensation of reward and compensation for all the good work we've done. Gardening is relaxing and fun. Plants are indeed, healing because they are healing me. I feel so happy around plants. And having Giardini on Stardoll certainly makes me happy too, So thank you Stardoll, with all my heart.